“Sonya Lea tells her extraordinary story extraordinarily well. She has a rare ability to bring readers to the
places where love and sex intermingle, collide, or go their separate ways. Wondering Who You Are is an amazing accomplishment. Every page sparkles with wisdom, candor, insight, and love.”
—Christopher Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

“Sonya Lea has spun a love story for the ages. I have been searching for a long time for a book that grapples so perfectly with the complications and joys of caring so completely for another. Here it is. Wondering Who You Are is an important contribution to the cannon of illness literature.”
—Christa Parravani, author of Her: A Memoir


“This meditation on love and loss left me filled with wonder. Sonya Lea considers every possibility—the full span of understanding, from science to shamans to sex—in an effort to rediscover her husband and, in the process, what makes us uniquely human: our memories of who we are. Words like ‘honest’ and ‘intimate’ don’t even begin to
describe this remarkable journey.”
—Brian Castner, author of The Long Walk: A Story of War


“Into the unknown, into the mundane, into the weird, into the intimate ordinary, into sex and despair and what love
really looks like. Sonya Lea’s book does everything memoir ought to do, and something more: It tenderly, relentlessly
explores the nature of identity itself.”
—Claire Dederer , author of Poser: My Life in Twenty-Three Yoga Poses

“Sonya Lea’s closeup, incisive memoir carries the reader breathlessly through her heartache, loss, love, and
rediscovery. She delves bravely into the taboos of caretaking and examines the conflicts between love and duty,
resistance and submission, distance and desire, as well as the grief inherent in the not-knowing.”
—Nicole Hardy, author of Confessions of a Latter Day Virgin


“Sonya Lea’s Wondering Who You Are is an extraordinary story. A wrenching, deeply honest exploration of love and identity
that made me question my ideas about memory, about gender, about marriage and family and faith. About the whole
human rigmarole. Her story does what the best stories do: it made me think about life in an entirely new way.”
—Suzanne Morrison, author of Yoga Bitch, One Woman’s Quest to Conquer Skepticism, Cynicism, and Cigarettes on the Path to Enlightenment


“An incredibly intimate and honest memoir, Wondering Who You Are shows more vividly than any work of nonfiction
I’ve read in years the endlessly complex and delicate nature of identity. In particular, the book movingly reveals how
mutable all relationships are, how metamorphosis on one side of a partnership necessitates metamorphosis on the
other—we are all constantly changing.”
—Peter Mountford, author of The Dismal Science

“An intense and accomplished memoir . . . This sweet, erotic, wrenching story asks quintessential questions about memory, the constructed self, and love—its challenges and deep compensations.”
—Priscilla Long, author of The Writer’s Portable Mentor: A Guide to Art, Craft, and the Writing Life


“This story is strong and strange and haunting and moving all at once…[Sonya] has a voice and tone that are so truthful and authentic.”
– Bret Lott, Dead Low Tide, Oprah Book Award Winner for Jewel


“Sonya is one of the few writers I’ve encountered whose brilliance transcends form; so whether crafting an essay, a script or a short story, her talent shines.”
–Warren Etheredge, The High Bar (PBS)